Grow up, graduate high school, leave home, go to college, get a “real job” and live on your own. That’s just how it’s done in America. No one really knows anything else.
We crave independence from our families, and define our success through how well we can thrive on our own in the “real world.”
More times than not we graduate college and move somewhere for a job, make barely enough money to pay for an apartment, student loans, a car, gas, food and all other necessities.
Our families are often hours of a drive, or flight away. So far that we search for people to fill the void, and the basic human need of interpersonal relationships. Often times we settle, unable to find people we can really trust or rely on.
I never questioned this path until I was living in Viet Nam.
I think it’s practically impossible to be aware of the absurdity of something until you are able to see it from an outside perspective. Travel has taught me this. The wonder of perception.
During my time in Viet Nam I struggled. More than I have ever struggled before in my life, and all I wanted was to curl up in my mommys’ arms. To feel the warmth of her embrace, her uplifting and loving energy.
I had good days and bad when I was living there, but in every circumstance I missed my mom the same. I began to realize that it wasn’t just in times of great sadness, stress, or discomfort that I craved this closeness to my mother. It was all of the time.
In Viet Nam almost everything, including how and where people live is different. People generally live at home with their parents until they are married, and sometimes even after marriage. I had a friend Huy who was in his mid-thirties, a successful architect, unmarried and still living at home.
Instead of merely being raised by their parents, my friend’s parents truly knew their parents, and their parents knew them. Not just what they chose to reveal during quick visits and phone calls, but for the people they truly were, and would continue to grow to be.
My eyes saw, but my heart felt how truly special this was.
I wanted that: To live at home with my family, not because I had to, but because I wanted to. To know my mom person to person instead of adult to child.
America may shun and look down upon my decision to move home after graduating college and living on my own. All I can do is laugh. Because until you have done this, until you have lived at home because you want to, and not just out of necessity. Until you have seen and felt what I have you will never be able to conceive the sheer bliss and divine beauty of this experience.
I thank the higher consciousness each day for all my blessings. How truly fortunate I am to not only be accepted by my mother, but to be able to accept her. She has seen me at my highest and at my lowest, my ugliest and my prettiest, my nicest and my meanest. How many people in the world are there that would stand by you though all of this and still love you the same at the end of the day?
Love you forever, Momma.